Month: August 2015

Setting Control An Overturn

I finished watching a movie and it’s only 11:49 PM meaning I’ve at least 2 more hours till I start falling asleep. This biological clock is never wrong. I feel sleepy only after midnight. The evening is the time when I get the energy; the motivation and strength to do something. A night person is what I am and people don’t really understand. But how would someone know about me if I don’t tell them anything? There are ways or let’s say there were ways. I knew someone who could smile and make my day. Someone who could make me happy. Life changes with the situation and here I am wondering about her wedding. I don’t think I can make it. As absurd as it sounds, her happiness is my happiness but things have turned other ways. When friends fall in love, tides have no direction. It’s only a disaster.

Exquisite is my very favourite word. There’s such beauty in it. It’s the perfect word to describe her anyway. In times of trouble, there was a shoulder but now I’m staying away from it. Like a few mumbling words from someone could make your day, some could destroy it too. I just never thought it could be the same person. While I know that I might never cross roads with her again, I might want to give it a try. We had similar interest’s but we met by serendipity. A common purpose of misunderstanding for both of us led us to share such glorious moments. There has never been a direction for me. I have always set sail on a direction others wouldn’t with no real purpose but with the motive of being different from the others. I set goals of love, not milestones of education. I fell in love with the world. Caring for those who needed help, but only putting them to their feet. I cannot hold responsible for others life. In doing the wrong things, it might pan out to be the right thing. At this moment a year ago, I was probably on a train travelling the whole day on rail to see her. How at that phase of my life, I thought nothing could go wrong but it did. The search for what you want is never possible. You never know if what you want is what you need. There are things that become clear in time. Many times I’ve gone to the past hoping it could make me feel good as it used to but it wouldn’t matter. Reliving a memory isn’t as pleasant as it’s supposed to because we already know it happened and there’s no element of surprise, only expectations. Memories hurt you the most, especially when they don’t stay the same. A year ago, I wanted her to be on my shoulders, lay down, look up to the night sky and watch the stars. It’s one of those most radiant days where every day I’d wake up to see the one I love. In time, love was lost. The strongest bond sunk like Titanic, trying to hold tight but slowly sinking in time when the one strong ship split in two. Nobody saw it coming, but we all knew it could happen. Misery is the beauty of tragedy. It brings tears and lets you know you had feelings and that at one point you were not as selfish, mean or stone hearted. Our prospectives change with time and we forget that it’s not just me or you but everyone. At time’s we don’t need to go back and say sorry or tell them the reason for doing certain things or accept somebody’s apology.  It’s okay to speak in silence and live the life that is exquisite. Maybe someday a new bird will sing or tweet. Maybe there’s another person who you think is bothering you but you realise you like the attention. Sometimes you will call a person disgusting, then you tell you like him, then you love him and say you want to spend the rest of the life that person. It’s only natural to live in the moment. At some point in your life, maybe you will find someone in your own stage. Life doesn’t come with any instruction. Hell with it, life isn’t planned at all.

It is wrong to disappear completely but like a rock being swept by an endless river, someday you might get stuck in a bay and feel like life is not bad with less change. We try hard not to go back to the things that hurt but smile when something recalls the good times. It’s hurtful when a beautiful song gives back horrors of the aftermath. The love was real. It was mysterious and mystique. It made sense and made you lose your senses. At certain points, we shared the moment but there will come days when you become an outcast on her birthday. The people around you cannot always be the same and those who stay also tend to change. Some are like wine and some just anything else. In this world where an action has a reaction, karma will do good. Fate follows you, but you lead it on. The earth rattles, glasses shatter, we cry to the sound of a woman singing and these were never planned. It’s okay to cry. In both joy and sorrow, it makes you feel better. A life without tears is dull. It’s one of those things I could use to measure happiness in life. When alone, treat yourself by standing up solitary. No dependencies and no expectations will lead you on. When will I fell good as I did a year before? I will never know. I have learned and I have grown. It’s a wonderful world.



Today I was forced to meet my college counselor by my parents cause they watch me sitting home doing nothing. I told him I wanted to try to educate myself in the US cause I want real experience. The words I heard from him amazed me. He asked what I was doing. I told him what I’ve been doing. Then he said, “You’re not going anywhere by doing social service. It’s not your field”. To be honest, I knew this long time ago and the fact is that bringing happiness to people is what matters to me. I don’t want a desk job. I want to travel around Nepal to place where I have never been and make a difference in peoples lives. The thing that brings me down is money and the education I have. Education should not be relevant to what I want to be. It’s simply just a way of showing the qualities you have in a certain field.

What happens to people like me who think that eduction is but a piece of paper to certify certain skills you have? Why does education restrict me from developing me into a person I want to be? Isn’t it the selfless deeds that we see in a movie that touches our hearts? Isn’t life supposed to be like that? Isn’t it worth living? Knowledge is important but it’s different from education. It’s a curriculum that worked well on some, benefited them while it’s been nothing but burden for the rest of us. Isn’t education like thought control? It’s always better to know about certain things and activities but we cannot be based on an aggregate of everything that exists in a text book. We have our own interests. There are people like me know who wanted to make a difference in lives of people and yet studied something else. They might have discovered it along the way or perhaps some were like me who thought that if you want to make a positive change in somebody’s life, you can do it anyhow.

Here I am stuck with no degree in humanities and for me a useless degree of B.Sc (Hons) in Computing from London Metropolitan University at an age of 20.  Here I am appreciating movies like Fight Club, Dazed and Confused and The Breakfast Club. The world needs a hero but right now I’ve hit a block with me going against my family who think that an 8 hour regular desk job is whats best for me. I don’t think so. Perhaps arts is the thing I’m interested in. Perhaps money doesn’t matter to me but creating something exquisite does. Perhaps I want to see the colors of the world. I want to witness a miracle. I want to travel to Africa before I go to Europe or America’s. I want to witness both joy and sorrow. I want to what it’s like to live.

There’s never been a greater joy in my life than playing with kids and helping them draw. People need to be taught that it’s not pity to help someone. I could have easily been someone deprived of resources and joy of life. In my life I had every thing that I wanted but that didn’t keep me happy cause it’s the intangible things in life that makes a difference. It’s the kind words, the touch, the softly spoken words, the motivation, the leadership, the time spent together, the support and letting people become independent that matters. Sympathy comes nothing close to empathy. If you cant become a difference in somebody’s life, it’s never too late.

I’m here awake at 2 AM in the morning wanting to make this world a better place and not knowing how. I feel shame for people who told me getting into the IT business was the best decision of my life and now I clearly don’t agree with the there’s money in it part. It’s only human to be thoughtful for yourself. Self-loathing is not something I want from people but they should learn to know that people are different and they don’t hate you for not making a difference in people’s lives. We were not born with a mentality to hate people or discriminate. We learn these from society. We can always change and contribute to make this world jolly. Be it playing music or driving trucks to feed the hungry, what matters is self-actualization. Be satisfied with whatever you are doing. Love the life you live. Make mistakes and mend them. In the words of Kurt Cobain, “Have love, faith and empathy.”

How to become an awesome guitar player

If you’re reading this, you probably want to become someone like Santana who played his guitar in the Brazil 2014 World Cup final. How do you become as awesome as they are? Do you think you’re going nowhere with your progress. Besides your normal guitar routines, here’s my views on how to become an explosive dynamite from a regular guitar player.

1. Have strong determination
The important thing is that you keep on digging and be desperate to play. Albert King would break into his bosses room to play guitar. Though left handed, he played a right handed guitar cause there was no left handed guitar then. Kurt Cobain who was born right handed by started playing a left handed guitar cause he was gifted one. Be determined to play under all conditions. Doesn’t matter even if you suck. Don’t be shy or feel awful. You’ll get better.

2. Find a companion
Maybe someone a little more experienced or a little less, you can still help each other. Learning from someone experienced would help but it’s beneficial if you grow to be better with someone of a similar level. You could help each other out with anything new you come across. One could give the rhythm while one solos.

3. Listen to good music
You’ll get nowhere close to being a good guitarist if you listen to losers of the 21st century. Try listening to people who started before the 90’s. Any musician after Nirvana sucks so it’s not much worth learning from modern day artists. Biased? Really? I’m here to help. Know that. Still it’s better if you listen to all genres anyway; it broadens the horizon.

4. Learn a little bit of theory
You don’t really need to learn to read notations but try to learn a bit. Understand a bit is theory like fret board navigation and chords. Learn about notes, octaves but do not go too deep. You will lose creativity. B.B. King never learned theory and yet he’s the king of the blues. Your music should come naturally to you.

5. Have a role model
Jimmy Page, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, Jimi Hendrix, SRV, Joe Perry, Ritchie Blackmore, Davis Gilmour, Keith Richards, Gary Moore. These are some big names. Have a role model. Try to become like them. Dress like them, do crazy things like they did, read their bio’s and try to find out how they became a good guitarist. Consider them your God’s and the almighty will grant you power to become something like them.

6. Cover others songs
Take a song like “You Shook Me” and jam with your companion. Cover songs of great artists though you or your mates may suck. Learn licks from your favorite artist. There’s a quote that goes on like “Good composers borrow, great composers steal.” It’s the deal breaker. Learn from others till you can create something of your own.

7. Create your own songs
Create a delicate intro, make your own riffs, create chorus, create verse, add in your solos… Basically make your own structure. Try to put pieces of your influences from your friends or your idol. Add in lyrics, add in a few instruments. Record your sessions with any available device and listen to it. You will find ways to improve so record again. Give it yet another listen and keep finding ways to make changes.

8. Try different guitars
Every guitar gives out a different sound. Go to your brothers and play his guitar. It might be harder to play or it may sound a bit different. You will get a different vibe in different guitars and you will be surprised how even when you play the same thing, the outcome is very different. Also electric, acoustic and classical guitars have their own purpose. Know which songs sound best in which guitar.

9. Plug in the guitar to an amplifier with distortion or overdrive
You never know what’s bottled inside you. Go wild. Pretend to be Pete Townshend, Angus Young, Mark Knoffler, Kurt Cobain, Zack Wilde, Ace Frehley or anyone else. Just play and try to be original. Steal some riffs and licks, mash it up. Try to put in different techniques. Play clean or shred. Look in the mirror if you need a bit of self motivation. Fell comfortable to hear your sound. Disturb the neighbors. Try experimenting with all equipments like a bottle neck or whammy bar.

P.S. I highly recommend not to break your guitar till you’re rich enough to do that.

10. Watch and listen to live performances
Besides losing yourself to your idols, try to listen how different your favorite artists are in every concert. The same song will sound so different in every performance as all great artists improvise. Many times even studio songs are spiced up. Look how they perform and learn a bit about showmanship. See how the band maintain the flow. Every great artist from the 20th Century did this. Make sure you’re don’t play the solos of the song the same way every again.

11. Practice consistently
Learn a few pieces to practice and work on it consistently. Many famous artists post their guitar lessons and explain their techniques. Learn their practice licks and keep working on it till your fingers are free flowing and still keep on doing. You could even try performing songs like “Every Breath You Take” from The Police will warm you up by stretching your fingers. Keep practicing till your finger bleeds.

12. Find a guru
I’ve always found people who went through the hippie generation to be experts in guitar. These people learned by listening to tapes or radio. They will bring the best out of you with their experience. You’ll feel poor in front of them but you will learn a lot from them. They would have heard songs from the original creators of blues. Many times someone of your own age can be pretty mature for it though.

13. Train your ears
Marvin Berry called Chuck Berry when he heard this guy playing his guitar amazingly and made him listen through the phone. That’s the story of one of history’s greatest song “Johnny B Goode”. Train your ears to play something someone else is playing. Make sure your can duel with your partner by learning the sound and to be able to instantly copy what they’re playing. Helps a lot.

14. Invent your own style
Have your own signature move, have you’re own signature licks. Like Jack White would say, pick a fight with your guitar. Experiment with it. Try to create a sound never heard of before. Create your own genre. Won’t you be glad if people can listen to a recording of yours and tell it was you? Be unique. Mash up different techniques. Break rules of playing and come up with your own patterns and rhythm.

15. Check your artists timeline
All artists were beginners too. If your check the timeline of artists, you will find that they gradually improved. Eric Clapton thought he was fucked when he saw Jimi Hendrix play. It takes time to improve. See how gradually they became a super group and how they developed from paupers to pros. Listen to their discography starting from their very first years to gradually go to their final or latest point. In fact study about your favorite artists, it’s going to be fun when you find out facts like Clapton was in George Harrison’s garden when he composed the song “Here Comes The Sun”.

PEOPLE, People are amazingly funny

PEOPLE, People are amazingly funny;

They want you to trust them, but do not want to prove what they mean,
They want friendship to be forever, but are ready to break for temporary benefits,
They want to be great leaders, but don’t care a bit about their followers,
They want you to contribute for their growth, but nothing for your development,
They get the best use of you, but no acknowledge for your efforts,
They want you to work like a donkey, but never want to give credit for your work,
They squeeze you till the last drop, then throw you off like nothing,
They want you to act dumb, but can’t take a moment of your strength,
They talk about humiliation they have been through, but never miss a moment to humiliate others,
They don’t have a bit of courtesy about you, but shed crocodile tears in front of you,
They mean you are an asset till you are needed, but you become a liability once the work is done,
They think they know everything, but hate those who know better,
They make jokes on your growth, but keep feeling insecure inside,
They see all that is wrong in you, but can’t do a self assessment,
They can’t talk about all the above on the face, but use social media for grumbling…

People are amazingly super funny!

-Guru Tej