Lessons from 20

This is, in fact, a review of the year 2015 I suppose. Also, since I was born in early January, I could also reflect this as the things I’ve learned being a 20-year-old. So here are some things I’ve felt, experienced and learned that I want to share with you.

  1. God does not exist but religion binds us together: I never quite believed that god exists though I’ve seen some amazing predictions and voodoo stuff growing up. I am an agnostic atheist and I’ve totally stopped relying on god. Yet it’s a blessing to be born in a country like Nepal where I feel the family bonds are strong. This year, I’ve become much close to my 2nd cousins who are of similar age. As much as I don’t want to believe in god, the puja’s, jatra’s and festivals have brought a stronger bond in my family. I also realized that even though someone is my brother, someone else could know them better and be me much closer to them. But it doesn’t matter too much, does it? Remember the saying, “Brothers for life”?
  2. Let go of the wrong influences: You could try hard to be someone else, live in someone else’s shoe or become friends with someone just cause they stick around, but in the process, you’re only turning yourself into something you are not. Some friendships were like poison and some stuck around just cause they had too. Some people got me nowhere. You’ve got to pay the fares for the wrong bus right? You waste a lot of time hearing and being influenced by things that don’t make sense to you. The sooner the better you realize that you need to cut the crap that you’ve had enough of. You need to let go of things that leech you down though you might be in the comfort of being with someone who bugs you down.
  3. There’s no point in regretting: We do a lot of wrong things, some too stupid and shameful, but there’s no point in crying over spilled milk. We can obviously learn from it, but there’s no point in regretting things you cannot change. The past is a point of no return and bad memories will fade. You surely must learn from it and no matter how big an opportunity you let go, better ones will come by. The future is in your hands and you can still make a difference in the future.
  4. You can learn things from everyone: You might know an over smart ass and besides the fact that he is a big dick, you can still learn a lot from them. Even just setting a rivalry with someone will help you progress which in a way does assist you in any way, but at least,  you get the motivation to develop yourself. Every person you meet knows something you don’t know. They might have their own exotic experiences and have a connection or resources of doing things you could possibly have done right for yourself.
  5. People will try to be superior by trying to get you down: People will tell mean things to like you’re not good enough and many times I’ve felt that I’m not good enough. I’ve had some jackass tell me I don’t know how to play the guitar and tell their own story of how he formed the band and performed from way down to get way up there. People will try to make you feel inferior cause it makes them feel good. They’re probably right if they’re so confident, but you should know that everyone has the potential to get higher. Right now I know that if I work on it then I can get better than the person, but is it worth it? Should I rather play guitar and disturb my neighbors all day, all night or focus on something useful? I do not feel that I need to be the expert and play “Since I’ve Been Loving You” note by note to prove I’m a good guitarist. I’d rather settle down with singing”Can’t Help Falling In Love With You” in front of my lover.
  6. You can beat people in their own game: Some things will come naturally to you while you need to work on others. People who are of the majority (not necessarily right) will make fun of you and call you crap and all sorts of things. They’ll demotivate you even before you’ve begun. As human beings, we can always learn and become better at things people claim they’re good that. You need to surround yourself with people who can teach you things, motivate you and you can beat them at their own game. It’s just a matter of hard work and the dedication you put into learning. You never know how good you could get.
  7. People who influence you might have contrasting views and have bad habits: Just because someone is right about one thing doesn’t make them right about everything. Russell Brand is a modern day idol for me but he is religious, which I cannot be. You never know which bad habits one might have nicked from their childhood; let’s say smoking for an example. We need to accept the flaws in even the smart people and make yourself a character which is a  compound of people, not just one single person. I’m not going to listen to Eminem just because Jan Vertonghen listens to it, right?
  8. Do not follow people: I hate politicians and often hate people who try to tell me what to do by giving their examples. It’s not your story, it’s theirs. We lead different lives and we have a different approach to activities that place in a regular basis. This year I’ve done silly things and things that make sense to people. I’ve set goals without listening to what people have to say. I have an imaginary world and my own reality. It’s important to be original. There’s a saying that goes, “If a hammer is the only tool you have, you will see all your problems as nails”. You parents and friends might be wanting to see you go one way, but it is all up to you to decide to be boring or adventurous.
  9. Nothing can bring you down: Of course, the highlight of the year is the massive earthquake. I could have lost hope but the altruistic being  in us will not let us give up on anything. The universe is mean, but you’ve got to keep moving. There’s going to be lots of obstacles in your way and probably everything trying to stay in your way. You’ve got to take things one at a time and believe in your potential and fight to show what you deserve. It doesn’t matter if it is you against the world. I think I’m alone right now, but I know that there are so many there who think like you or appreciate what you are doing.
  10. You can contribute to the world by starting from yourself: Be it throwing trash in the trash bin, giving a lift to someone, being polite to a stranger, quitting smoking, buying a bicycle or buying someone a blanket, it makes a difference when you change someone’s life or help in conserving the environment. I decided to become vegetarian cause I don’t think animals should be born just be slaughtered. Like Lennon said, “A dream you dream alone is a dream. A dream you dream together is reality”. Start a peaceful movement starting with self-improvement.  You can contribute to mother earth and people in need in ways unnoticeable or with less or almost no effort. Try not sounding the horn the next time you’re stuck in traffic, or bring breakfast in bed for your mother. Become an altruistic being and get rid of the selfish gene.
  11. You can’t be sad forever: Many times I’ve felt like I’m not good enough. Among the stupid things I did, I even tried consulting a psychologist to see if he could help me get rid of the unnecessary things keeping me awake at night. Being depressed or feeling not good enough is a battle I am losing myself. No one can help me but myself. I don’t expect a social bunny to fall from the sky when I’m sad. I don’t expect anyone to bring me Oreo’s or sing me “Hey Jude” when my day’s been awful. And besides, it’s mostly because of me overthinking and the empty mind not keeping myself busy which was holding me back. I could get rid of the night owl I am cause I realized that I can’t expect someone to be there for me when I’m all beaten up. The only person who will always is there for me is myself.
  12. You can prove yourself wrong: This year, I’ve proved myself wrong a lot of times. I choose the wrong people to hang out with, bought the wrong things, went for the wrong study and believed words of fools. These are only a few examples. The best part was learning to analyze everything I see and hear. The media and people give you a lot of wrong ideas. I got the answers to a lot of equations wrong. It was time for a change like not being confined by what my parents have to say. I went from being an easy follower to someone who questions everything. I was wrong about a lot of things. I learned that if you fall, you pick yourself up. I learned that luck is when skills meet opportunity. The meaning of life changed. I learned to give up on a lot of things harmful and I learned to live with the things I thought I couldn’t live without. I learned that others opinions don’t matter and the fact that the purpose of life is to understand yourself, find what you’re good at, recognize your ability and find out what you love to do.
  13. I need to go after the life I love: My life has never been thrilling. There was a routine which went something like home-college-home or work-college-work. Education is basically nothing compared to knowledge which I tried to gain by reading a lot of stuff online and watching videos. But there is something that beats knowledge. Experience. I should go after the things I love. I need to leave behind the easy life and become unique. Perhaps I’ve let a lot of good opportunities slip away and most of the wrong decisions were not the thing I did, but rather the things I did not do. Precisely speaking, I did not take the risk. I know I have an impossible dream, but I didn’t go for the things what I wanted. We make mistakes and we learn from them, and every year I’ve learned new things. I’ve wasted my life till this point and I’ve not fulfilled my potentials. Towards the end of the year, I’ve become less reliant on my parents and I’ve worked on my own personal projects. I’m making a start and I know I’ll only become better.

Image by Tal Bright @Flickr

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