I’m not talking about anyone specific. I’m only talking about the way of life. Even though we would want people to stay with us forever, unfortunately they don’t. I think I know why.
It takes a great chemistry for people to bond together. I thought I had a bunch of friends who would always call me at 12 AM on my birthday. This year, it was different. I received none and it was expected. Who in the right mind would sacrifice their sleep just to wish me on my birthday only to ignore me for a few weeks or months until we accidentally meet up in a convention or a friends gathering? It was different even till last year, but this year everyone had moved on.
I’m not saying I’m mad at these people for not giving importance to me or staying out of touch cause I realise that everyone is leading their own lives now. We’re no kids with time to fool around. With time, we have responsibilities and we grow up. We realise that there are bigger and better things to do. We move on to a newer path and to far away places. We cannot abruptly meet up cause we have schedules. The only people we see everyday are the people we work with. It turns out that school memories are the best ones where we really get to know people and enjoy. In every stage of our lives, we meet new people and lose touch with some old ones. Do not freak out, it is only natural.
I know that I’ll still have a great time with my buddies if we decide to meet up. The hard part though is the meeting itself. They’re far away, literally in a different continents. Even if we talk everyday, it is still hard to truly understand what is going on in their lives. We can put all out efforts but we spend all our time in conversations. We are always in different phases of our lives. I have finished my undergraduates while many of my friends are still doing it. Many who studied with me haver a full time job and some are vacationing. It was easier to hang out and talk when we were in schools and college. After the end of high school, I lost touch with many of my friends and it is not just friends but also family that I can relate to.
I used to have one hell of a time with my cousins. We fought with each other, I cried over not having the remote control, they bought me cake and candy. I have some fond memories of my childhood and now they’re all married and have children and so mature. Who knows when my own friends have their own spouses and children cause it is only a matter of time. I couldn’t have imagined how life would pan out, that people who were so close to me are now distant living their own separate lives. I cannot be there in every occasions even though I’d like to be. In time, it becomes even unfavourable to be in someones company. I’ve been there in occasions of celebrations of my friends before where we had a blast but now their company have changed and I wouldn’t fit into it. I have my own company now and I doubt that they’re not going to be here for the rest of my life. No one stays with us forever cause we search for a purpose in life and we sway away to places where we belong.
There used to be a time when I went for English Language Classes at the British Council before I joined high school when I met a bunch of like minded creative people. We were all interested in reading literature and writing. We came together by common interest and we became friends but right now, I have no idea where they are or what they are doing. I thought it was common interest that binds people. Even though we have the same goals, we have different ways to achieve it. Some pursue a career in it while to some it is just a hobby but none of us are together in the journey cause we approach it ways best suited for us. Some even stopped dreaming about becoming a writer.
There were occasions on which it was a bad fight which caused a split from my friends and now when I don’t even have a grudge on them, I don’t feel like I want to invite them back to my life. We all change and it is odd when a friend of mine calls me by my old nickname cause nobody calls me that, not now. There are some people I know who have become so distant that everything they talk about is new to me and we cannot even have a decent conversation without being left puzzled by what we are doing. In time it almost feels like we do not know the person anymore so it is okay if people grow distant cause it happens to everyone.
We change as people and our interests do not serve for us to be together every time for every occasion. I still believe that in time I will get my friends back when they move back from the different continents but I do not expect us to be energetic and would be surprised if they do not send me a wedding card. Our relation with people are held together only till we can comprehend the common situation we are in. Actually, I like it this way cause I haven’t really lost all my friends. I still have a handful of good friends who have always been there. There are friends who come home for a day or two and we have a blast cause some friendships die while some do not take time to reignite.
I prefer the company of a smaller circle cause I know my priorities. I think I know which friends will be there till the end of the world and those who will disappear into the horizon. It does not matter when friends drift apart cause the ones that matter will stay close to the heart. I’m glad that I’m still making new friends and that there are so many people out there who are an absolute delight. I don’t think it takes much time for similar people to get to know each other well cause I’ve met people with whom I became too close in no time. For those with whom it didn’t click, perhaps they’re not meant to stay.
I’m glad of my bunch and I know they’ll be there when I need them even though they’re a just a mile away or seas apart. I know my friends, the real ones, the ones I can really count on and those who will stay. I love you guys even though you’re all idiots.
Image by *Hardworker< @ Flickr.