In a world which is a maze, the only way to be sensible is to become a loon yourself.
Like your life matters to anyone, why choose good over evil? It’s easier to write when you’re out of your mind. Remember heartbreaks? That’s how I became a writer. First it was baby poetry, almost like a pop song where I was overwhelmed by a person who people didn’t even know existed. After hearing the sentence “It’s best for both of us”, you lose your mind cause you’re so obsessed about a heart you cannot change. But in time you don’t feel a thing, but this dark side of you that comes out stays with you. Frustration brings a metamorphosis in me. I turn evil and it makes me want to kill myself.
What does it take to keep me sane? In writing, I find solace for my poor ragged soul. When in a happy place, I can think straight. I become a usual being. When I lose my lucidity, I feel lost in a crowd and feel the weight of the world on me. Caught in chain, dragged to earth, slapped by mud. These are only recollections of my memories. I hate being confined and being told what to do. Why was I never free? Why do people try to make me fit in this premeditated world. I’m no good here. The only thing I’ll cause is rebellion.
It’s even harder when you don’t have an addiction. Cigarettes don’t calm me down, nor do drugs. The materialistic world cannot bring change in me. You might say guitars but a guitar is not a thing, it’s an interstellar communicating medium. When aliens invade our planet, I’ll beg for mercy by playing the blues. The feel of the blues makes me cry every time. There is beauty in despair, something you can only empathise. Sympathy is the worst feeling in existence, you don’t even understand and you think you care. You will never know how filthy I think this world is, all full of corporate, power-hungry mongers and creeps.
I’m not alone and insane in this world. I’m insane cause society labels me that way. All writers seem lost and it’s best to stay that way. When did a sane person ever do any good anyway. Be proud when society labels you a misfit. Change starts that way. People deny your every word, and call you Satan preacher when you don’t believe in God. It’s easier for them to understand that way and they know an idea is contagious. It’s not terrorism, it’s spreading the truth. I don’t mean no harm trying to let the kids know that they should grow up listening to Pink Floyd. The gods are here and you don’t even know them. Hear that faint sound somewhere in the distance when you close your eyes? If you can imagine, it is there.
It’s driving me nuts trying to get me head back in place but this is the only way I can feel better. I care about this world when I know it’s full of people who accept their fate and I wanna become change. I know that feel when I was liberated myself. I missed the comfort of being sad. When you’re used to a routine, it’s discomforting to get out of it and it’s not easy to fit into a world so materialistic. It takes time to get used to the nihilistic world cause here we try not to value money and find an escape from greed. You’ll lose your mind when you can think for yourself. You see, everything around you is wrong. You see the blue colour in your social network? Someone programmed it that way hoping you would get addicted.
Everyone needs to get far away from comfort. Nothing unusual ever happens with a schedule. You can either chose between a boring repetitive life or an insane permuted world with a million possibility. Rise and shine people. I still have faith in you. May you be merciful when you find out the true purpose of life. Do no evil cause we’re not meant to be cruel. When you find freedom, e proud of yourself cause the greatest virtue is self-enlightenment.
Image by Danielle Itin via @Flickr