There was a point when I thought I could change the world with my little acts of kindness, but it doesn’t happen this way. Learning this fact changed the way I viewed people completely. I let the world decided what is wrong and what is right. How I wish I was still a child who still cared about the little things that could make a difference but a world so competitive and harsh changed the way I saw it completely, but I’ve had enough. I come back to a quote by Hendrix that goes something like, “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”
I grew up as a Buddhist and this dude Buddha was my hero, an epitome of what I wanted to be. Like him, I was raised privileged; having whatever I want but hearing stories of him made me want to become a good person. There was this story when a cousin of Siddartha Gautam shot a goose and the Buddha took the injured bird to cure him with medicine. This story will forever be the most enlightening story that I’ve heard. It is a benchmark of where it started and what I wanted to be. I’m not being religious here. If it isn’t Buddhism, kindness is my religion. However, my universe has changed so much. While acts of kindness were something I tried to give out to people, I never really got anything in return. Your act of kindness is something you will be exploited for in this world. It turns out that not everyone shares the same vision as you and soon, people are bothered that you have a pure heart and they don’t. When people stopped appreciating what I’ve done for them, I changed. A little part of me died that day, making me one of those cruel people called human beings who have a history of being driven my power. I was never raised this way, but society changed me. Today, I have rediscovered who I am. I might have been born a human being–the species of destruction–but I’ll not let the world get me down and become a part of the dirge of this civilisation.
Meeting the wrong people has made such a big impact on who I am. In their defence, they only tried to show me the real world and tried to make me ready for what lies ahead. The world really is cruel and having friends in the later phase of life who has been through great heaps of crap taught me to see the cruelty I’d not seen before. The value of money has changed so much since it first came into existence. It’s all about the demand and supply, not the effort and value. When you grow up and when you don’t want to rely on your parents for you to have a life of luxury so you can contribute to this world, money becomes security. I’d never seen money this way. I thought organisations collected funds so they could help the world like my parents gave me pocket money so I could invest my energies at someplace needed, but the harsh reality is that the world doesn’t work until there’s a benefit for themselves. A big dream of mine was to work for an INGO as a kid but things changed when I saw how they utilise finds rashly and that someone’s pure contribution to make this world a better place has been utilised to gain status. I don’t want to use the money that has been granted for change to benefit someone else in making their lives better. I thought volunteer meant sacrificing your valuable time to create a better world without getting anything but personal satisfaction back but this term social service turns out to be purely backed my money. Capitalism is perhaps the greatest source of evil there exists in society. While some put it to good use, many are simply slaves to its reign. When an individual economy is much important that the benefit of the people as a whole, wars will rage so people can have a life of luxury. Can I change the way things are? I think yes. I need to go back and be reborn.
One of the worst pieces of advice I’ve been given my people is that in some point in life, you have to walk alone to achieve what you want. I really wish life never had to pan out this way. When everyone walks alone and have their own intentions of getting higher, the goal becomes selfish. Walking a lonely road changed me in ways I thought I never would. It made me forget that kindness is contagious. When everyone is by themselves, it is the survival of fittest. When your intentions are to live a better life only for yourself, when will the one who need help ever live a life? I thought I could change the world and I had good support as a kid, at least encouragement, to make this world better but then everyone walked away. Being solitary for too long might drive you crazy. It makes you admit that if you cannot beat them, you join them, and I let myself become a part of the charade. But lately I’ve met a wise man who hasn’t achieved so much in life and I asked him why his wisdom has not put him in a place where he deserves to be and he said, “It turns out you cannot do everything all alone.” This has touched me because now I know where I’ve drifted apart and why I haven’t been able to succeed. I reached my goal on my own when I needed support and people with a similar vision to create a better universe for the next generation, but unfortunately, even if people appreciated what I wanted to do, they never did tag along. Now I need help. I need people to assist me in creating my dream.
Someday, things will make sense. The greed driven world will realise that there is more to the world than just priming through life and that the important things in life need to be addressed. Ignorance has turned us into a social comfort seeking beast and we do not want to break free of the gravity holding us down. Someday the chains will be broken. The real heroes are the scientists, not the politicians. Perhaps someday, someone privileged will look down and see that the random act of kindness of someone can make a significant difference in someone’s life. Deep inside I believe there is good in everyone and that there will still be people who will inspire you to try to fix every hole in the world. Whoever told me, “It isn’t my responsibility to mend the world so broken,” you are wrong because who will fix it if I wont? It is my responsibly and you, the fallacy ass, you have a bigger responsibility because you need to stop revelling on the profit in the balance sheet and use the resources you have to make repairs to every dent that you’ve created. If we don’t change now, we never will.
The nihilist 