Family

A deeper understanding

You probably pity me my brother and I pity you. If there’s something I’ve learned in the past couple of years, it’s that the elders are not necessarily the wiser because many of us are mislead.

I know you care about me but you’re bringing me down. Just because you topped the class in college doesn’t make you smarter. If I have to label you anything, I’d call you an intelligent fool because you know so much but you do not understand the fact that we live in two different worlds. You have decided to flee to the US and work. I do not hold those ambitions, not unless it’s for the greater good of society. I feel sorry for you following the mainstream path of getting an education and getting a job.

I understand why education is important and I have my alternatives for not getting a degree at the moment. To me, knowledge is important, not a certificate. I know how I can get to the point better than you have reached. I know this because you have not seen the world. How do I know this? To start with, you have no respect for what I am doing. Nothing I do will ever seem right unless I do it your way. If only you could get yourself out of the corporate world and see right through to the real world, you would know how to live.

You’re blinded by the fact that you earn so much there. What you are doing is worthless and you are replaceable. You’re a corporate slave doing what you do to find a place in place in a competitive society, not trying to bring the change that is needed. You’re a drone bee and I do not intend my life to be that way. I have choices to make and figure out ways of how I can light up tomorrow. Sitting in a chair and following orders is not something I’m too compatible with. Though I lack experience, I know my potential, and the things I can do and I cannot. You, on the other hand, have been too far away to understand the lives we live here. You are finding comfort in creating someone else’s country and with your lack of innovation, you will not find anything worth doing here. You have set yourself in a trap. You might possess the skills that a first world country needs, but no one here is ready to pay you for the reputation you hold in the land of opportunities which I won’t be surprised if you call it a home. For someone who has already set a different mentality, I do not want you to come back and mess me around with the reputation you have earned by fixing someone else’s  problem.

Grow up brother. See reality as it is. I’ll work on what I’m best at and what I’m doing should not bother you. What your family has done for me is not the same as what you have done for me. You have no manners and you are trying to do something to feel good about yourself by taking away my freedom. If you have no respect for me, I hold no respect for you either. Don’t show me the silver lining of your life because I will not be happy following your path. Find yourself. You are out in your own thoughts. Only you can save yourself. I hope you figure out that there is more in this world than just money. It isn’t entirely power and it will never be my happiness.

 

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That birthday gift

Dad’s birthday is coming and I was wondering what I should gift him? But then I recalled this gift I’d given him as a kid which I believe is something he’ll forever cherish. It certainly is something my family cherishes forever.

As a kid, my dad used to hang out a lot with his friends. They had a crib in Jyatha, a place close to Thamel where I’d often end up after school. I’d be watching action reality shows such as Fear Factor and Who Dares Wins on tape or playing uncle Yoshida’s Gameboy Color in the Japanese uncle’s apartment. Dad and his friends would be playing Mahjong, drinking beer or strong coffee, smoking cigarettes and a bamboo hookah while I’d be stuffing myself with unlimited Japanese candy. In a way, I liked his company even though it was dangerous because there used to be an actual handgun in the room which was so heavy I couldn’t carry even by using both hands (it did not have the magazine and no one ever got shot). So well, I’m just giving you a gist of what it was like.

The other hangout was this place called Hot Pot, a restaurant in Thamel. Dad and co. would often go there and gig on a normal night. But I don’t think dad went there after a while because I remember that most of the time, the ground floor of my house used to my dad’s pack of wolves’ favourite domain. They’d come to my house and bring me Chicken Crackers and Frooti. I’d munch on the snacks and play computer games (Mario, GTA2, Outlaw, Jedi Night, Road Rash, Timon and Pumba …) while the company would have their good time. Mom used to be upset about his dad’s friends hanging out while I was in the room because there were often times when uncles would bring tobacco and roll on paper, and smoke till the tobacco ran out. In fact, my mom hated that dad was smoking while I was in the room but it went on for quite some time; years, I mean.

So one day I’m at school and my teachers tell me that smoking is bad. Though I did not know how bad, I knew that my dad had a bad habit. Because he was my dad, I thought he was Superman and he could do nothing wrong, but I realised that I had to make him kick his habit (probably because mom was angry about it too). One day after school, I took out my GK book which had two small pictures of a no smoking sign and posted it in the room my dad and his friends would hang out. I did it impulsively without thinking too much on his birthday. I don’t remember his expression or what he told me or exactly when he stopped smoking but I know that things changed after that. He did quit smoking. After a while, he limited on his drinking and now he’s straight edge (drinks rarely though. I think. Don’t remember the last time he held beer). When I was a kid, he was a chain smoker who smoked way too much and I can only remember it in flashes because now it’s been way too long (at least 15 years) since I last saw him take one. Perhaps it’s because he was able to get rid of this habits that I could kick out a lot of my bad habits.

Dad’s always been an inspiration and he’s taught me so many things which make me different. Maybe I didn’t inherit the electric, table tennis or cooking skills that he has, but, well, I think it’s not the blueprint but the recipe of working things out that I’ve inherited. He’s the most awesome person I know and I’m proud that I have the most awesome dad.

P.S. Happy birthday pops.

The Macbook Story

I know you won’t bother asking me why I bought this second hand Macbook for such a high price and call me stupid even before I try to explain, but it’s okay and I totally understand.

If you’re a Nepali you will understand the price. I bought a second hand Macbook Air for 1 while I could have ordered an another brother of mine coming to Nepal from the US  to bring a new one to me for 1.25, but I didn’t. I’ll tell you why. The brother from whom I bought this Macbook is someone I care for and thats why. He’s had small jobs for quite some time and now he has a son with no solid earning foundation.

He had told me he had plans to open a clothing store but he had no money. I know I’m the decades younger brother here, but I knew I could help him by buying his Macbook which is only a luxury for him, so I bought it at a high price because he needed that money. I care about my brother and thats why I bought it. He’s been there for me in some of my most memorable moments as a kid so yes, why not give him a heads up to start his business. He’s doing fine now. He opened a shop as he had planned. It’s a cute little shop which he opened by partnering with one his friends in Naya Bazar, and its in walking distance. Honestly speaking, I don’t visit him s much because I’m usually busy but I know the business is doing good. It’s still new and more people are still trying to locate the place but its cool.

I don’t know if he knows what I’ve done for him but he is grateful that I could provide him some extra funds to open his shop. He’s my brother and we’re connected by blood, we don’t say we love each other, we show.

Goa head, make somebody life. I try it to do it everyday.

Angels

“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”
-W.H.Auden

I’m just an ordinary man trying to find a way to make this world a better place. As for making my world a better place, I’ve got my angels.

In trying to find the meaning of life, I’ve figured out that materialism is the things that least work out. The purpose of my life is to make this world a better place which is home to everyone living and dead; animal and plants; friends and foes; family and stranger. I don’t have a lot of friends, but those here with me are worth keeping close to myself.

Some simply tell me I write well when it’s horse-shit. Some simply like my tweets. Some stay by my side when I’m deeply broken inside. Some smile and make tea for me. Some pull me by the arms to take a selfie. Some simply give me a call. Some bring me gifts every time we meet after a long time. Some change the playlist when I’m around to play the songs I like. Some care about mother nature. Some enlighten me with their words. Some motivate me. Some are simply nice. Some simply write poems to brighten up my day. Some simply say it’s okay. Some say it’s time for me to go to bed and say goodnight. They can just exist and make me smile.

They simply care.

They’re close to me and they’re far. Some I’ve seen and some I don’t know when I’ll meet. They’re not there for me every time, but they’re there for me when I need them to be. They’re selfless and they listen. They make a normal day extraordinary. They show me that love is all you need.

Talking about assholes, it’s best not to be one. There’s no place for selfish people.

Try to make a difference, try to be the difference. Make this world a better place for you, me and everyone sharing the world as it is. Be human and become somebody’s angel. Share your stories and give them hope. Be honest and polite. Be good and be yourself. Make their day because true happiness presents itself when you share.

Let them know that they’ve made the difference.

Picture by Jonathan Kos-Read via @flickr