Nihilism

The world needs a hero

There was a point when I thought I could change the world with my little acts of kindness, but it doesn’t happen this way. Learning this fact changed the way I viewed people completely. I let the world decided what is wrong and what is right. How I wish I was still a child who still cared about the little things that could make a difference but a world so competitive and harsh changed the way I saw it completely, but I’ve had enough. I come back to a quote by Hendrix that goes something like, “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”

I grew up as a Buddhist and this dude Buddha was my hero, an epitome of what I wanted to be. Like him, I was raised privileged; having whatever I want but hearing stories of him made me want to become a good person. There was this story when a cousin of Siddartha Gautam shot a goose and the Buddha took the injured bird to cure him with medicine. This story will forever be the most enlightening story that I’ve heard. It is a benchmark of where it started and what I wanted to be. I’m not being religious here. If it isn’t Buddhism, kindness is my religion. However, my universe has changed so much. While acts of kindness were something I tried to give out to people, I never really got anything in return. Your act of kindness is something you will be exploited for in this world. It turns out that not everyone shares the same vision as you and soon, people are bothered that you have a pure heart and they don’t. When people stopped appreciating what I’ve done for them, I changed. A little part of me died that day, making me one of those cruel people called human beings who have a history of being driven my power. I was never raised this way, but society changed me. Today, I have rediscovered who I am. I might have been born a human being–the species of destruction–but I’ll not let the world get me down and become a part of the dirge of this civilisation.

Meeting the wrong people has made such a big impact on who I am. In their defence, they only tried to show me the real world and tried to make me ready for what lies ahead. The world really is cruel and having friends in the later phase of life who has been through great heaps of crap taught me to see the cruelty I’d not seen before. The value of money has changed so much since it first came into existence. It’s all about the demand and supply, not the effort and value. When you grow up and when you don’t want to rely on your parents for you to have a life of luxury so you can contribute to this world, money becomes security. I’d never seen money this way. I thought organisations collected funds so they could help the world like my parents gave me pocket money so I could invest my energies at someplace needed, but the harsh reality is that the world doesn’t work until there’s a benefit for themselves. A big dream of mine was to work for an INGO as a kid but things changed when I saw how they utilise finds rashly and that someone’s pure contribution to make this world a better place has been utilised to gain status. I don’t want to use the money that has been granted for change to benefit someone else in making their lives better. I thought volunteer meant sacrificing your valuable time to create a better world without getting anything but personal satisfaction back but this term social service turns out to be purely backed my money. Capitalism is perhaps the greatest source of evil there exists in society. While some put it to good use, many are simply slaves to its reign. When an individual economy is much important that the benefit of the people as a whole, wars will rage so people can have a life of luxury. Can I change the way things are? I think yes. I need to go back and be reborn.

One of the worst pieces of advice I’ve been given my people is that in some point in life, you have to walk alone to achieve what you want. I really wish life never had to pan out this way. When everyone walks alone and have their own intentions of getting higher, the goal becomes selfish. Walking a lonely road changed me in ways I thought I never would. It made me forget that kindness is contagious. When everyone is by themselves, it is the survival of fittest. When your intentions are to live a better life only for yourself, when will the one who need help ever live a life? I thought I could change the world and I had good support as a kid, at least encouragement, to make this world better but then everyone walked away. Being solitary for too long might drive you crazy. It makes you admit that if you cannot beat them, you join them, and I let myself become a part of the charade. But lately I’ve met a wise man who hasn’t achieved so much in life and I asked him why his wisdom has not put him in a place where he deserves to be and he said, “It turns out you cannot do everything all alone.” This has touched me because now I know where I’ve drifted apart and why I haven’t been able to succeed. I reached my goal on my own when I needed support and people with a similar vision to create a better universe for the next generation, but unfortunately, even if people appreciated what I wanted to do, they never did tag along. Now I need help. I need people to assist me in creating my dream.

Someday, things will make sense. The greed driven world will realise that there is more to the world than just priming through life and that the important things in life need to be addressed. Ignorance has turned us into a social comfort seeking beast and we do not want to break free of the gravity holding us down. Someday the chains will be broken. The real heroes are the scientists, not the politicians. Perhaps someday, someone privileged will look down and see that the random act of kindness of someone can make a significant difference in someone’s life. Deep inside I believe there is good in everyone and that there will still be people who will inspire you to try to fix every hole in the world. Whoever told me, “It isn’t my responsibility to mend the world so broken,” you are wrong because who will fix it if I wont? It is my responsibly and you, the fallacy ass, you have a bigger responsibility because you need to stop revelling on the profit in the balance sheet and use the resources you have to make repairs to every dent that you’ve created. If we don’t change now, we never will.

Reached for the secret too soon

I know I’m special but I’ve let too many things get in my way. I haven’t fulfilled half the potential I have. Reading about Syd Barret reminds me of the child I was who could have been as great as the maestro. It takes a genius to recognise a genius and I don’t mind ever being unnoticed. In my world where I make the rules, I am god.

Syd painted every wall of his house in a different colour. When the music he was making didn’t satisfy him, he became an artist. He knew that he possessed an immense talent and no one could really come close to him. I think if Syd had continued with Pink Floyd (given he was in the right state of mind), the band would have been even better. Syd lived in a different dimension which we can see in his early songs ‘Astronomy Domine’ and ‘Interstellar Overdrive’ which came out of space. The rest of the band knew that Syd deserved every credit for introducing the genre psychedelic rock to the world. Oh Syd, you’ve always shone like the sun.

I see a lot fo Syd in me. I was bad at painting so I never properly learned it. I can’t handle criticism. I can’t let anything out until it’s perfect if it means something to me. Syd gives me a hope that it’s okay to be a freak and have fuzzy hair. It’s okay to play music others simply don’t get. Syd makes me feel comfortable to be in my own world, doing whatever I want. This cold world has drained me and made me do things I don’t want to do. It’s encouraged me to follow a routine. I know my life would have been so much better if I’d grown up in a world where people weren’t’t judgemental about the things I do. I wish I was raised in a world where people didn’t bat an eye for growing up my own way with a colourful notebook and a colourful everything. In a world where you have to pretend to fit in, you will not grow. I dread the world I was brought up in where I grew up in a cynical system which didn’t motivate me to be myself. I hate the fact that I was judged before I was ready.

I wish that I could be who I want to be now but even now, though I’ve been enlightened, I do not have the freedom to do what I want. Because civilisation is too big, no one can live a life where one can survive in ignorance. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I don’t want to value money. I don’t want people to be mean to me. I want to smell and not shower and still be okay. I want this hair to grow because it wants to grow. I don’t want to get out of bed just because everyone else gets out of bed. Sometimes I know I’m wrong and childish, and that’s the point. I know that peace of mind is here to stay but in a busy world where I’m always mobile and having to adopt to change, anything meaningful will have no time to root and grow. I want to live in my own world where I wake up by the sea and bask in the sun, without having to become a corporate slave, exchange my efforts for some cotton and plan everything. When was the last time that I was free?  I don’t know.

I don’t want to change. I cannot live a life by someone elses rule. I don’t want money. I want peace. Why is it so hard to follow our dreams? If only we could really do what we want to do, we’d live a life in peace. This part of the world does not want me to be happy. It wants me to struggle. Life doesn’t have to be this way. I know that my happiness lies far away from the regular schedules and serving someone elses interest. I know that my happiness lies in discovering myself but the society is too judgemental for me to become myself. I know there’s a little bit of Syd inside me and having an insane idol keeps me sane. Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun?

Imbeciles

Admit the fact that we’re all stupid. Everyone is stupid but some people are more stupid than others.

There will always be people with a better experience than you have. Even if you’re the best in the world at something, it doesn’t guarantee you everything. If you’re good at something, you probably know all the tricks in the book. When something new comes up, you’ll always have trouble. Though this is a bad advice, always question the experts. Trust me, there is always more than one way to do a thing. Some people are not as creative and they’ll not get what you’re doing. There are some things we learn by the books while there are other things we learn from mistakes. The important thing is that you learn and if people humiliate you for not knowing something, show them who has the last laugh.

Competitions will get the best out of you but some fights are not worthy of the challenge. Choose wisely when you’re making an argument. Sometimes you seem to lose because of others opinion in which case you’re still in the race. After all, the world is full of imbeciles.

And they almost devoured me

I always feared this moment: the moment I’d turn myself into someone else. But I know where I came from and that I should keep both my feet on the ground. I was born to serve and serve I will; to make this world a more liveable.

As I just watched the movie Parched, I felt an obligation to bring the much-needed change that society needs. We all know of the social evils that society accepts. People who have made rules loathe change but change is important. Everything that is new might sound strange, might not ring bells or go easy on the ear, but with time we need to know of the greater evils accepted by our society. To stand alone in a crowd with your moral obligations will be frightening and you might be shredded into pieces for standing up, but you should do the right thing and challenge societal norms if they are primitive and unreasonable. Nepalese might have all the wealth in the world, but they’re not civil yet. As Aristotle puts it, ‘There’s no point in educating the mind without educating the heart.’

Let us all be good human being and live outside of our jobs for a while. A busy schedule that makes you work like a machine will make you forget your responsibilities of being a human being. We learned to live in a community millenniums ago but we’ve forgotten to live. We live in an age where everybody is so busy trying to make a living that they forget to live their lives. What good is the money you earn if your hard work only brings a smile on you face? If you really want to be happy, know that happiness grows when it’s shared. Be the reason for a smile on somebody’s face and do this every day. Let someone know that there are good people in this world who have arms wide open and filled with love for strangers whom they did not know even exist. Provide someone with some assistance and get them out of a pickle. Make their burden yours. There’s no point in sleeping over a pile of money. There’s no point in getting drunk every Friday night for pleasure. There’s no need to be disciplined by society and turn you into a slave in this corporate wold. Live free with an open mind and clean heart. Live to serve humanity. Live to love.
And I really hope that someday someone we will get rid of all our miseries. I know life is tough with pharmaceutical companies, arms dealers , and unethical bankers and businessmen, but there are some of us who are ethical too. It’s okay to be frustrated knowing the fact that we’ve been let down by the very people who care about us, but it’s not their fault that they aren’t enlightened. It is out fault if we know that change is needed but we do not act on it. It is up to us to show the world that it can be all rainbows and butterflies if we wish for it. Spread the love, bring the change. Be ethical and prosper in what is rightfully yours.
The way we can change the world is by empathy. Learn the reason for our existence. We live on a planet that we commonly share. The only way to live is in harmony. Throw away your vanity. Throw away your clothes and go skinny-dipping in the river. Know that there is so much the world has to offer. Live the life you’ve always dreamed of. Dream big, dream right, dream for a prosperous tomorrow.